Sarahhh pictures ^_____^

rlysadtbh:

sorry for the face spam xoxo

6 months ago  /  1 note  /  Source: indirected

Vent. so like , skip this. xD

Nothing’s the same anymore. I get so sad so easily. My heart is starting to feel emotions , but in a rough manner. I guess that means my heart’s getting back to normal. However it’s causing so many issues. I keep screwing up and doing the wrong things and just saying the wrong things. This was never what I had in mind and I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s not the same since Kaylin has left. I got someone to think I was going out with her, accidentally. I helped someone get a girl out of their life to help them be happy but regretted that she felt stuff from it. I tried to help her and found out what she was doing. Am glad now that I helped the guy though. x: I miss people who used to be in my life that aren’t. It seems nobody ACTUALLY cares. Like, just feels like I’m just someone people may talk to but I cannot see how I’d matter to anyone nor do I feel I matter to anyone anymore. </3 Literally like I shiver and get cold-hearted apparently. I’m trying as hard as I can to get over my ex. I don’t cry over her. I don’t think of her EVERY hour of the day. Just, when I do.. i feel cold and shaky from the lack of body temperature. It’s like “I really need a hug.. I need body temperature to be okay that I am failing to provide myself with.” It’s like… Just to have someone care and be here for me is what I need more than anything. A best friend…? who doesn’t leave to go hang out with someone else.. or just stop talking to me for no reason at all because I’m unimportant. I know, I’m not that great but I’m just a mess right now and really wish someone could just help me. v.v People can try but stupid simple things they can do just make me from okay to just back to sad and verge of starting to cry. Like.. I’ve got issues. I really do, But I need help. And this time I really, really need it. I’ve changed since Kaylin broke up with me. I don’t know what I’m becoming but it’s not what I’ve been before. God & Jesus please guide me ♥

6 months ago  /  0 notes

FEEL FREE ..to keep scrolling. Just needed to let some stuff out of my head.

… Probably the w o r s t band competition of all of them(to me) ; Struggled to breath, felt choked the whole time. Light headed or something… couldn’t seem to get oxygen to go to my head. I was panicking. I tried to keep her out of my head but it didn’t work well…I needed to focus on music. I tried to think of positives to keep Kaylin out of my head, but it just wasn’t working. Internally, I COMPLETELY fell apart at that competition. My eyes were struggling to hold back tears of immense pain. I was off-beat and I messed up [noticeably and multiple times.] Just: ….. . Then, we placed 12th out of 13 in our division for the state bands. I feel horrible and pathetic and worthless.. Ugh. I just want to cry for a very long time. Well, in all honesty I have for a while but just ..idk anymore. I feel unimportant to everyone and stuff and I should just go cry. I’m going to die alone anyways. c: …>_> Having issues.. if you can’t tell, you stalker.. whom I love so much<3

6 months ago  /  0 notes